Dancing with your ghost

Summary: Dazai was in your arms, his breath was hard. He tried to talk and tease you to make you smile. You agreed to sing a song for him, he sang with you too.

But you had not finished the song with him, then you felt his arm fell down, he did not breath anymore. Now stay with you just a cold body, you cried.

Every night you dreamed about a young unknown man dancing with you, but you even did not know his name and his face. You just felt so familiar.

Osamu Dazai x fem!Reader

“Which flowers do people give in funeral?”

Phuong Lien

Note: Based on song Dancing with your ghost of Sasha Sloan.

“I stay up all night, tell myself I’m alright.

Baby, you’re just harder to see than most.”

You was sitting in your own bedroom with your blanket covered up your slim body, the phone was playing your favorite song. You closed your eyes, every good memories appeared in your brain like a poisons. You missed him, of course. You left a long sigh, how many time did you sigh? You could not remember, you just started to get this habit when you lost him… right in your arms. You realized that you could not see him anymore, he was very hard to see now.

“I put the record on

Wait ‘till I hear our song.”

Now you could not have time to do it anymore, when he was here with you. In the morning you could play both of your favorite song on your piano, now you did not get a chance to do it for him. In the evening you stopped playing your record which used to be your habit when he was here with you. You knew the truth that; you could not wait until it played again.

You remembered that day most, tears pulled out when you looked at your picture with him. That was a normal day like every day, outside the weather was raining. You and Dazai stayed in your own bed room, he was very tired. You knew that, because of the sickness made him become like this. Dazai was in your arms, his breath seemed so hard.

“Osamu, are you alright?”

“No problem, the things I want now is here for me.”

Dazai replied your question with a smile on his face, you grabbed your arms around him and let Dazai lied in your laps. You kissed on his forehead and rubbed his hair, then you asked.

“May I sing a song for you?”

Dazai nodded his head, his brown eyes looked at you made your heart broke into thousand pieces. You could felt your tears now was in your cheek, you wiped away it and looked at his face again. Even you tried to smiled but you could not, when you closed your eyes to make those tears go away you felt a cold things was in your cheek and rubbed it gently.

You opened your eyes and realized that was his hand, you looked at his face again. His playful face never changed, Dazai said.

“Don’t cry my dear, I used to seeing your smiled. I can’t stand your crying face, baby. I want to see your happy face when I left this life.”

You sobbed and nodded, you held his hand on your cheek. It always cold like it was every day, you rubbed your cheek into his hand; wanted to enjoy the warmness from it. Dazai again asked you.

“You asked me to sing a song for me, could you sing it?”

“Our favorite English song?”

You asked, when you saw he nodded at your opinion. You blinked your eyes and started singing, you now rested your chin into his brown clumsy head. Your voice heard like a bird lost it mother, painful and miserable also the sad song made you choke. Dazai was listening to your voice and he started singing beside you, his voice was too small; you could not hear it clearly like before anymore. Your tears could not stop falling, you held his hand tightly wanted to felt more about him before God took him away from you.

When you almost finished the song, you could not hear his voice anymore. When you looked at him, you could saw his peaceful sleeping face. His hand which were holding your hands now fell out, you cried like a child who lost it candies. You were crying so hard, your hand again rubbed against his head. Could not stop! You were trembled and said.

“Osamu, please… Open your eyes again…”

You sobbed and hugged his body tightly, tears pulled out from your beautiful [color] eyes. You felt cold now, no one could be here to cover you up anymore. Dazai was sleeping and never woke up again, you placed a kiss in his cheek and said.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have any courage to face with this. It is too big for me, I can’t stop crying. I-I’m… sorry.”

The rain was pouring outside when you lifted your eyes to see it, the world stopped moving since he left.

“Hey, Y/n your smiling is very beautiful, you know?”

“Y/n, please don’t cry. This make my heart broken.”

“Y/n, look at me please?”

You opened your eyes again, you had slept for an hour before morning. The place next to your bed was not warm anymore, he went away and brought all every things with him. The weather outside could not stop raining. You left your bed and got ready to go to the graveyard; you put up your favorite colors jacket and umbrella.

You stopped by a flower shop to buy his favorite flower before paid a visit. You remembered the day when people in the Agency went to his funeral, everyone told you to forget him. They saw you were crying a lot and stand a long time standing under the rain to say goodbye to him, you sobbed like a child. Atsushi and Kyouka did not find any things could attract you anymore. Now you were going to this place again to visit him.

“What is your favorite flower?”

“Maybe yellow rose, it fits me very much.”

Now you sent this bouquet like a hello from your world to another world, when you stepped into a flower shop and asked the florist to pick you some yellow rose for him. People would feel weird because they often brought white chrysanthemums to visit the dead one but he was different. He loved those yellow rose rather than the chrysanthemum.

“Which flower should I give to you when you died?”

“Yellow dot rose would be the best one.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why, honey?”

“People often give chrysanthemums for the dead people.”

“But that wasn’t my favorite one.”

You remembered it, when the florist gave you the flower you received and paid for it. You held an umbrella and tried your best to kept the flower bouquet away from rain. When you reached his grave, you knelt down and put the flower on it. You closed your eyes and then said.

“How long is it, Osamu? Do you miss me?”

Every night you always dancing with a man you could not see his face clearly, he took your hand and kept dancing your favorite song on the record which were playing next to you. You could not denied that he was acquainted to you, because he was in your dream and will disappear soon until you woke up.